


This Is Home

by Mumblings_Of_A_Dreamer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Self Deprecating Thoughts, One Shot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 17:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mumblings_Of_A_Dreamer/pseuds/Mumblings_Of_A_Dreamer
Summary: Just a little Virgil-centric one shot I wrote based on the song "This is Home" by Cavetown





	This Is Home

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend listening to the song here: https://cavetown.bandcamp.com/track/this-is-home  
> This fic was originally inspired by a post made by @ren-allen on tumblr

**_Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess_ ** **_  
_ ** **_This avoids the stress of falling out of it_ **

 

Virgil entered his room and softly closed the door behind him, leaning his back against the door. A deep sigh built up in his lungs and passed through his lips. It had been a long day, and he’s pretty sure he pissed off Roman and disappointed Patton. Again. But he couldn’t let Thomas fall in love, not again. Not that quickly. It was too risky, and it wouldn’t have worked out. He took a deep breath and focused on the cool wood against his back as his head hit the door.

****_  
_ **_Are you tired of me yet? I'm a little sick right now but I swear_ ** ****_  
_ **_When I'm ready I will fly us out of here_ ** ****  


He was just trying to protect them, but he also didn’t blame them for getting annoyed. He was wrong, and bad and negative; they’d get tired of him eventually. _No, it doesn’t matter,_ he thought to himself as he moved to his bathroom.

 

**_I'll cut my hair_ **

**_To make you stare_ **

**_I'll hide my chest_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here_ **

**_  
_ ** He tried not to think to hard about his reflection as he slowly changed and got ready for bed. But he realized no matter how much he wanted, the thoughts would never truly leave. Patton’s smile flashed through his mind. He knew it happened months ago, and Pat was getting better at talking them, but what if it was fake?

****_  
_ **_Turn off your porcelain face, I can't really think right now and this place_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_Has too many colours enough to drive all of us insane_**

 

He would never tell the others, but he still has nightmares about those videos. He didn’t notice his best friend was hurting then, how would he know now? He had never been in Patton’s room before then and he’d never go there again. It was too sunny, too bright, and full of false happiness. Another sigh escaped him as he pulled his shirt over his head, this time accompanied by a groan. He needed to stop thinking. He turned to stand in front of the mirror.

****_  
_ **_Are you dead? Sometimes I think I'm dead_ ** ****_  
_ **_Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet_**

 

He looked at his reflection closely, examining each and every inch of it. His eyeliner was darker than usual, hell, his eyes were darker than usual.  He felt sluggish and drained, everything ached, and part of him wanted to sleep. But he knew he wouldn’t find peace in the inky blackness that called to him, all sleep would give him is nightmares. He took one of his makeup wipes and began to wipe off his face, only to reveal that the reason his eyeliner appeared darker was that he had bruise like circles under his eyes.

****_  
_ ****_  
_ **_My eyes went dark_ ** ****_  
_ **_I don't know where_ ** ****_  
_ **_My pupils are_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here_**

 

He rested his palms on the sink and looked down at the tiles as he tried to push away the self deprecating thoughts. A humorless smile briefly graced his face as he remembered Pat threatening to fight him. But even memories of their resident ray of sunshine couldn’t stop what he was. He was wrong. He was a monster.

****_  
_ ****_  
_ **_Get a load of this monster_ ** ****_  
_ **_He doesn't know how to communicate_ ** ****_  
_ **_His mind is in a different place_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_Will everybody please give him a little bit of space_**

 

He jerked up, looking back as his reflection. He took it in slowly yet frantically all at once. His messed up hair, his oversized black T-shirt that highlighted how thin and unhealthy he was, the sinister eyes that he couldn’t fix no matter what he tried. If he couldn’t fix it, why not make it seem intentional?

****_  
_ **_Get a load of this trainwreck_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet_**

 

He groaned again, trudging out of the bathroom and collapsing onto his bed. He laid there on his stomach for a moment before lifting his head to look at the laptop that sat on his pillow. A small smile appeared on his face as he pulled up Tumblr, and typed his name into the search bar. He used to avoid what fans said about him, he already had to deal with the others calling him a villain he didn’t need the internet piling on. But one night curiosity overwhelmed him and he decided to go looking.

****_  
_ **_But little do we know, the stars_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_Welcome him with open arms_**

 

He never expected to be a fan favorite, but here they were. There were so many of them, so many bright and talented people, all talking about how much they adored him. Even though he was the villain, they still loved him. They _liked_ his edginess. They _liked_ his sarcasm. _They liked him._ They made fan art, they made edits, they wrote stories. And now he checked his Tumblr every night.

****_  
_ **_Time is_ ** ****_  
_ **_Slowly_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_Tracing his face_**

 

It used to freak him out, seeing his face; his makeup covered, sinister looking face, everywhere but…

**_  
_ ** **_But strangely he feels at home in this place_ **


End file.
